Its been several months since my last post.
Partly because I realised how much damage I was doing to my body and how much it was really hurting me. So I sought out treatment....
I know I can never be cured of this...its always gonna be inside me, but I just got over worrying everyone who cared about me. I was tired of being weak and not being capable of dealing with my problems on my own.
So...right now im 45kg.
I always thought this weight would make me happy, but I have lost any muscle I had and im soft.
Which is killing me when I look in the mirror and making it so hard to eat regulary and not starve nor purge.
But Im trying.
I stopped posting because I needed to step away for awhile. Focus on being healthy and being positive, but now I think I can be in this community, and keep in control of my disorder.
uh, my post is all over the place but after 9 months of nothing it will do lol.
I,ll post something more together soon :)