I think for a long time I have been in denial.
But after the last two days I don't think I can avoid it anymore....I think on some level I knew...
This week I have been sick...Last night I was ladling soup into a cup when I spilled boiling soup all over the back of my hand and burned quite a large surface area. I of course screamed and cried. Please tell me that is a normal reaction....because I got yelled at for this and made to feel wrong...stupid. I was in pain and he somehow found a way to turn this into something that I have done wrong.
Go to the hospital tonight and get told I have bronchitis and a middle ear infection. Walking out of the hospital he starts a fight over me being moody earlier in the day after I hung up on him for yelling at me over the phone. Because I am tired of being treated that way. I'm a person, not a pet.
Maybe I am just an exceptionally bad person who doesn't deserve to be happy.
I must be such a bad girlfriend that I don't deserve kindness or even sympathy.
Doesn't matter what I do, its never good enough and its gonna destroy me if shit doesn't change.
I have never felt so fucking small in my life.
I don't know how to deal with this anymore.