Friday, July 23, 2010

That one moment...

we all know it, when it changes everything.

When suddenly out of nowhere the lust we once had to live this life in a healthy, in a undestructive way disappears as fast as you can count to 2.

For some of us there have been many moments like this, that make us believe that no-one else cares of our wellbeing so why should we or that we will only be loved by those we most crave it if and only when we see that number at its lowest.

My point is, i no longer care...i dont wanna have an eating disorder because i dont, but i dont care anymore if my food choices are destructive and hurting me. How can anyone expect me to be happy if all i can think about day and night how my body is getting bigger and bigger because i cant do anything about it, because they tell me i dont need to.

This whole week has been a struggle, the boy has complicated it so im gonna not care about him too, we all know he's not gonna stick around so fuck him.

I will shrink and i dont care who i hurt doing it this time.


  1. Everyone needs a time where they just don't care. This might just be a fleeting feeling, but it'll help.
    Lose your standards and your thoughts of others.
    For me, not caring what anyone else thinks has been the best thing for me and I've been in this mood for the past year. It's gotten me into a debt and a lot worse situations but you'll be sweet and hopefully end up happier like I have.

    Being as young as you are though, it's going to be hard to break away from everyones love and caring for you.

    I've found that when I stopped caring about what others thought of me and how I hurt myself, that I started actually doing the right thing.

  2. hi, i live in Italy and lucky for me i learned english in 6 grade. i like your blog it's very inspirational. i even started my own blog. please give me support.

  3. omg my stomach just dropped when i read about your accident, thank god you're ok.
    i used to not care about anything, until this year... it has been so much more stressful when you're so worried about everything and everyone, i need to learn to let go and disconnect from everything again.. sometimes its just for the best. my favourite saying ever from almost famous - never take things seriously, cuz if you never take things seriously, you never get hurt, and if you never get hurt, you always have fun.

    as long as you're happy, thats all that matters, its time to be a little selfish and just care for yourself for a while.

    message me if you decide to come out on wednesday lovely.