we all know it, when it changes everything.
When suddenly out of nowhere the lust we once had to live this life in a healthy, in a undestructive way disappears as fast as you can count to 2.
For some of us there have been many moments like this, that make us believe that no-one else cares of our wellbeing so why should we or that we will only be loved by those we most crave it if and only when we see that number at its lowest.
My point is, i no longer care...i dont wanna have an eating disorder because i dont, but i dont care anymore if my food choices are destructive and hurting me. How can anyone expect me to be happy if all i can think about day and night how my body is getting bigger and bigger because i cant do anything about it, because they tell me i dont need to.
This whole week has been a struggle, the boy has complicated it so im gonna not care about him too, we all know he's not gonna stick around so fuck him.
I will shrink and i dont care who i hurt doing it this time.